


How it Feels to Want You and Wait

by leowriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-23 22:30:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9683615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leowriter/pseuds/leowriter
Summary: A hunt gone wrong forces me to face my feelings for a one Sam Winchester.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for Chloe's Scenes of smut challenge. http://casownsmyass.tumblr.com/post/154406824167/chloes-scenes-of-smut-challenge  
> I picked the movie the lucky ones which i still haven't seen i just you-tubed the sex scene so it has nothing to do with the movie itself.

 

 

 

“I don’t like it when you get kidnapped” I told Sam as I stood in the doorway watching as he washed his hands and forearms in the spray from the outdoor shower.

“It wasn’t exactly the highlight of my day” Sam snarked back.

I bit my lip to hold back the retort on the tip of my tongue; the adrenaline that had kept me going the last 48 hours was still buzzing though my veins. The feelings of panic, urgency, and fear were hard to shake. Just the thought of how I could have been too late, how I could have lost Sam was driving me crazy.

I got the call from the Winchesters nearly a week previously, about some obscure artifact they desperately needed for some reason or another. Me being the nice person I am, drove 100 miles to deliver it to them, only to be roped into helping out. No matter that I tried to stay behind the scenes as much as possible. The field work was not really my forte. Of course the case turned out to be bigger then anyone was predicting it to be, forcing us to split up when we realized that it stretched over multiple states. Dean and Cas headed out to investigate while Sam and I stayed behind to do recon, and that’s all it was supposed to be; which it was, up until Sam disappeared on me, and Dean and Cas went radio silent. Leaving me to find the missing Winchester, making me go out into the field, and actually fight! I did not appreciate that. I’m the book type, not the fighting type!

What followed was one of the worst 48 hours of my life. When I finally tracked Sam down I thought I was too late, but I made it just in time and we were able to take care of our side of it. Hearing from Dean on our way back, they had also run into trouble, but were able to overcome it in the end. So a job well done, I suppose. If only nerves and pounding heart would get that memo.

The drive back out to the cabin had given me plenty of time to think and process as Sam dozed beside me in the passenger seat. The case and the following hunt had brought up feelings I had long since tried to repress. I always liked Sam a bit too much for my piece of mind. Long ago I had to accept the crush I had on him; he just hit too many of my likes for me to ignore my feelings. Not just in the looks department – which has has in spades – but also the combination of the book smarts and the sarcasm got me every time.

The more time I spent with him, the worst it got. This case had me alone with him for days. In close quarters, none the less! Then he disappeared, and I freaked the fuck out. It’s not like he hasn’t been in danger before; the Winchester brothers are kind of the poster boys of danger. Bad things happen to and around them, and I've been around the community for awhile. This was more personal. I wasn’t hearing about it from the hunter grapevine after the fact. I was there. He was taken right under my nose and I could do nothing to stop it. The longer he was gone, the more frantic I got; to the point I was pleading to anyone up there who would listen to just let me find him. Try as I might, I couldn’t help thinking of all the what-if’s that could have been, and the things that could be happening to him. On that drive back to the cabin, I had come to the realization that my feelings for Sam had far surpassed those of a simple crush.

Pulling myself from my thoughts, I focused back on Sam, perhaps focusing a bit to intently on his frame. The gray v-neck tee he wore was stained with grime and sweat; it stretched across his broad shoulders and pectoral muscles, falling more loosely along the rest of his torso to just below the waist band of his dark wash jeans. The sculpted muscles along his arms flexed with each of his movements.

Sam raised his eyebrow at me in question. His lips twitched as he tried to suppress the knowing smirk that had recently been appearing far too often.

“Fuck it,” I muttered under my breath, enough was enough. Sam straightened as I all but marched over to him. Eyes wide, he took a step back as I crowded into his personal space. Silencing the self-doubt screaming at me, I hooked a hand behind his neck to give myself leverage as I lifted on my toes to kiss Sam full on the mouth.

In the next heartbeat, Sam was kissing me back, biting and licking his way into my mouth as he pulled me flush against his front. One arm vised across my back, hand tangled in my hair. The other dropped down to my ass, squeezing a cheek in one of his massive paws.

Pushing my lower half away from his, my hands snaked their way down his chest and torso, honing in on his belt. I broke the kiss to look down as I struggled to pry open the buckle and unzip the fly. Sam pressed his lips to my hairline, groaning into the steam dampened tresses as I palmed his length through his underwear.

The room spun when Sam moved me to press against the adjacent wall directly under the shower head. Sam caught my gasp with his lips as I felt the water cascading down upon us. Pulling my hand free from his pants, Sam held it above my head with our fingers intertwining. He pressed us even farther against the wall, only for him to get a face full of the spray from overhead. Sam pulled back sputtering, wet hair plastered to his head.

Releasing my hand, he took a step back while pushing his wet hair out of his eyes and smiling sheepishly. I couldn’t help grinning back at him adoringly. How can one man be so hot and adorable at the same time? It just wasn’t fair, I tell you.

“Maybe we should move this to another room?” I suggested, reaching over to turn off the shower.

Sam hummed in agreement, sweeping me up into his arms with a mischievous smirk. One of his hands slipped under my dress, moving upwards to support me under the ass. I wrapped my legs around his waist at his urging.

“Usually, I would advise against wearing a dress hunting,” Sam commented “but you looked really fucking hot bursting in to save me. Maybe you should wear more dresses.”

“Not happening, Winchester,” I replied “the only reason I’m wearing a dress to begin with was for the whole cover story. I wasn’t going to take the time to go back to the hotel room and change!”

 

“Well, for the record, you look really hot.” Sam said as he carried me inside, heading to the bedroom in the small cabin we were staying in.

“I can tell” I said, pressing myself more firmly against his hardness.

Once in the bedroom, Sam placed me back on my feet gently, letting my legs slowly slip down from around his hips. Hunching his shoulders down, he framed my face between his hands, lightly kissing me on the lips.

“Are you sure?” he asked softly.

“Yes.” I answered him just as quietly.

With the setting sun casting shadows around the room, the frantic mood from moments before mellowed into a slower, more exploratory one. Trailing light touches along his shoulders and biceps, I got lost in the softness of his kisses.

Dropping his hands from my face to the bottom of my sweater, Sam pulled it up over my body, the wet material clinging to my skin. Yanking it from around my hands, he carelessly tossed it aside onto the hard wood floors. Sam once again took my face between the palms of his hands, kissing me softly. Pulling back enough to look me in the eye, Sam swiped a thumb across my lower lip; then with the same hand slid it down my neck and chest, cupping a breast though my bra while giving a light squeeze. He made his way down; caressing my curves, hand sliding from around my waist to palm an ass cheek, before splaying his palm on the small of my back, pulling me closer. Bodies pressed together, Sam kissed me once again.

After kissing for several moments, I started to worm my hands between our bodies, aiming for Sam’s open fly only for him to catch my hands in both of his. Lifting them up to his mouth he placed a kiss on the back of each hand.

“My turn,” he said with a smirk, dropping down to kneel at my feet and releasing my hands. He started with pulling off my ankle boots one by one, while I balanced myself with my hands on his shoulders.

Hands on the back of my thighs, Sam pressed a kiss just above my knee where the hem of my dress fell, nosing the material up to kiss the newly exposed damp skin. Slowly he eased my dress up, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake, until he was back on his feet. Yanking the material over my head, he tossed it in the direction of my sweater, leaving me standing in my bra and panties.

Evading his seeking lips, I grasped the bottom of his gray tee and pulled it up. Sam took over to pull it the rest of the way off, casting it aside. Getting him out of his boots and jeans was not as sexy an endeavor; having him sit on the bed, the boots and socks came off with a fair amount of pulling. The wet denim, on the other hand, I struggled with. With one last yank I was able to pull it the rest of the way off, only to fall back on my rump from momentum with a laugh. I was still laughing when he pulled me up into his lap, both of us smiling into the kiss.

Laughter quickly faded the more we kissed. With one hand Sam unhooked my bra, it too getting cast aside. Bending his head, he kissed his way down my neck and chest, placing a kiss on one erect nipple before dragging the flat of his tongue across it. With his left hand on my back for support, the right cupped my left breast, thumb running over the nipple as his mouth teased its twin.

As Sam worshiped my chest, I ground my core against his hard cock through our still damp underwear, which was becoming too uncomfortable to ignore much longer.

“OK, these underwear have to come off,” I told Sam, hands in his hair tugging gently to urge him to look up at me. Quickly kissing him on the lips before wiggling out of his hold, I flopped down on to the bed to struggle out of my panties. “You too, Samuel!” I told him when he just sat there watching me.

Wasting no time, Sam pulled off his boxer briefs, only to get a face full of wet cotton as he knelt between my knees. Holding my panties aloft, he raised his eye brow at my stifled laughter. Tossing them over his shoulder he lunged at me. I gave an involuntary shriek of laughter as Sam faked falling on me, catching himself with his hands on either side of my head, muscles flexing as he propped himself up grin down at me.

My hands found their way to his hair, and I pulled his head down to bring our lips back together. With a growl, Sam deepened the kiss; his cock sliding slippery with precum against my lower stomach, one of his thighs had settled between mine with almost the right angle to rut against. Almost, but not quite. Whimpering in frustration I tilted my hips up, one of Sam’s hands going down to hike my leg up over his hip. On his next thrust down, his cock slid over my clit, leaving me gasping into his mouth at the sensation.

“Condoms,” I gasped out “god please tell me you have condoms.”

Sam thrust one more time before groaning “In my bag,” as he pushed himself away.

Moaning at the loss of contact, I none the less urged him up right by pushing at his chest “Better go get them, then.”

With one more demanding kiss, Sam dragged himself off the bed and stalked out of the room. Stretching my hands over my head I watched his nude form leave the room, appreciating the play of muscles as he moved. There was no denying the man was drop dead gorgeous.

Sam was not gone long, he paused in the doorway, eyes dark and intense as they swept over my form. Tossing the box of condoms into the bed to land with a bounce next to me, Sam prowled into the room. He climbed up my body to grasp my hands and press them firmly into the bed.

“One of these days,” he growled against my lips, hovering just above me “I’m going to tie you to my bed.”

“God, Sam!” I gasped “You can’t just say stuff like that.”

“Why not?” he asked, raising an eyebrow before bending to whisper in my ear “You like it, don’t you?” Panting and out a breath, I clutched my eyes closed “I’m gonna tie you to my bed, and taste you for hours,” He continued “See how many times I can make you cum, before I fuck you into the mattress.”

“Fuck.”

The next moment Sam was kissing me hard, biting and licking his way into my mouth before pulling away. Releasing my hands, Sam fumbled for the box of condoms. Ripping a square free of a strip, he left the rest discarded on the bed. My hands couldn’t help reaching out and caressing his truly magnificent biceps, watching as he rolled the condom on.

Settling once more between my legs, but keeping himself propped up by bracing his hands flat to the mattress on either side of my shoulders, Sam bent his head down to kiss me. I closed my eyes, greeting his tongue with my own. I could feel the ends of his hair brush softly against my forehead and along my cheekbone when he tilted his head to deepen the kiss even further.

Sighing into the kiss, I slid my hands up to his shoulders, leaving one to clutch on while the other moved up his neck to cup his jaw. Spreading my legs even further, he settled more firmly between my thighs, as I tilted my hips up in offer.

Sam broke the kiss with a groan. Resting his forehead against mine, he rocked his hips down in answer. His cock sliding down between my labia lips, hips tilted in just the right angle for his cock to catch on my entrance. His cock head pushed in minutely before retreating. He did this a few times, each time just enough for me to feel the stretch before pulling away. The hand that had previously been gently cupping his jaw, found its way to behind his neck, fingers clenching in the hair at the nape.

“Sam, come on,” I breathed out, helpfully lifting up at his next thrust. This time he slid further inside. He stayed where he was, with just the head of his cock in me. I felt his forehead leave my own as he pushed his upper body up. Forcing my eyes open I looked up into his questioning eyes, tension tightening around his mouth as he held himself still above me. I could feel the efforts of his tightly held control by the slight tremor if his muscles through my fingertips. At my slight nod Sam clenched his eyes closed tight pushing the rest of the way in, his cock stretching my muscles to the very edge between pleasure and pain.

Sam froze at my involuntary hiss “OK?” he grunted between clenched teeth. Releasing my death grip on his hair, I cupped the back of his head. With the lightest of pressure, I urged his head down, lifting myself up to kiss him.

“I'm fine, Sam,” I whispered in reassurance against his lips. I rocked up against him to pull him even deeper within me. Kissing me back with a groan, Sam retreated then slowly thrust back in, establishing a slow and deep rhythm of strokes.

Eyes sliding shut, my head fell back onto the mound of pillows with a moan. Lifting my legs up to wrap around Sam's hips. Curling even further around me, Sam pressed his chest against mine, resting his cheek, sticky with sweat, against mine. I moved my arms up to wrap around his neck as his pace quickened.

I held onto Sam tightly, tightening around him. I could feel myself get closer to orgasm, but knew it wasn’t enough. It never was. I bit my lip to stifle the frustrated whimper that was working its way out of my chest, though a small aborted whimper did make its way out. At the sound Sam increased the speed of his thrusts.

A few thrusts more and Sam slowed his pace to a stop, pushing himself back up, breaking my hold around his neck. He gave me a searching look, then with a raised eyebrow gave a quick and hard thrust back in, hips angled so his pelvis pressed against my clit.

I gasped. Hands flailing on the next thrust and on the next they found purchase by clutching at his waist. My legs fell away from his hips as I slid my hands down to clutch at his buttocks, trying to pull him deeper with every thrust as I arched and moved against him.

Sam dropped back down, pressing his chest back to mine. At his urging I pressed my head further back against the pillows, tilting my chin up to give Sam more room as he placed rough open mouthed kisses along my neck.

“Fuck,” I breathed out, hovering on the edge of orgasm. Sam biting down is what tipped me over. Crying out I shook my way through the orgasm. I was still shaking in the aftermath as Sam rutted against me, chasing his own release. When he was done, Sam tipped to the side, sprawling out beside me as we both caught our breath.

I lay there with my eyes closed happily, lost in the after glow. After a while I felt Sam’s eyes on me. Turning onto my side towards him I blinked over at him sleepily, snaking a hand beneath the pillow under my head and snuggling down. I could just make out Sam’s smile In the gloom around us, the sun had set fully as we were otherwise preoccupied. Sam leaned over, kissing me softly before struggling to pull down the blankets beneath us without having to get up.

Battle won against the blankets, Sam pulled me into his arm, tucking the blankets around us. Worn out from not just the nights activities, but also the multi day hunt we had just completed, I slipped into sleep with Sam gently stroking my hair.

 

* * * * * *

I woke up to the sun streaming through the curtains, lightening the room with a soft glow. Glancing over at Sam, I saw him sprawled across the sheets fast asleep. Turning onto my side, I tucked my hands beneath my head, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. The fuzziness of sleep slipping away, the negative thoughts from the night previous made themselves known. Letting the thoughts drive me from the bed, I eased myself off, eyes trained on Sam, praying I wouldn't wake him with my movements.

Snagging Sam’s plaid shirt from the back of the chair, I shrugged it on. Buttoning it up as I quietly padded out the door, I made my way to the kitchen in search of some sort of caffeine. I was in luck; as promised the cabin was fully stocked, including coffee and a coffee maker. Waiting for the coffee to brew, I made my way over to the dinning nook and the window that overlooked the woods behind the cabin.

The cabin and the surroundings were picturesque; nestled deep in the forest, it would make a wonderful vacation spot. Too bad we had rented it out as a base of operations for a hunt. Yet the hunt was concluded, and there was not much more to do but wait for Dean and Cas to return. That wouldn’t be for at least another day, as they were several states away. It was tempting to just play pretend, that I was on a vacation getaway. “ _Yeah, right.”_ I thought to myself “J _ust a romantic getaway with Sam Winchester, because that will happen.”_

Who was I kidding? _“Sam probably thinks that yesterday’s encounter was just two hunters letting off steam. Sexual tension rearing its ugly head. I would be lucky if it doesn’t ruin our friendship all together.”_ I was well aware of the fact that most hunters followed the one-night no-strings-attached thing, including one Sam Winchester. Never mind that I had never been able to do the same. _“The one time I actually have a one night stand, it’s with the man I’ve admired and been half in love with for years. Great going,”_ I told myself “ _I set myself up for a broken heart, awesome.”_

Rustling from the next room alerted me to Sam awaking and moving around. _“He’ll most likely be joining me fairly soon.”_ Heaving a sigh I moved to fix us coffee, mentally preparing myself for either one very awkward morning after, or pretending it never happened.

I kept my back to Sam as he entered the kitchen. Keeping my hands busy with the fixing of the coffee, I practically held my breath as he came up behind me. He slipped his arms around my waist and plastered his chest to my back. I bit down on my lower lip as he moved my hair out of the way to place a kiss on the side of my neck, I couldn’t help tipping my head over to give him more room.

“Morning,” Sam greeted in his sleep roughed voice, his breath stirring the fine hairs at the nape of my neck, causing shivers in response.

“Good morning,” I squeaked out “I made coffee!”

Sam pressed his smile into the skin on my neck as he tightened his arms around me in a firmer hug. He gave a hum of contentment before placing another kiss and loosening his hold, taking a step away. Turning my head towards him, Sam gave me a soft grin. Then he took me by surprise, turning me fully to face him, sliding a hand through my hair to cup the back of my head and pull me into a deep kiss.

Taken off guard, I sagged back against the counter. Hands honing in on his bare skin; one on his shoulder, while the other fell onto his hand braced against the counter beside me.

Deeming me thoroughly kissed, Sam pulled back and gave me a satisfied smirk. Picking up his mug of coffee, Sam sat down at the dinning table. I followed him, once I was able to gain control of my legs again. Angling my chair to face him, I perched on the seat clutching my coffee like a lifeline.

Sam continued to watch me, smiling fondly as though I was amusing him for some reason. Nice to know he found my discomfort amusing. After a while I began to fidget, looking everywhere except at him.

I only looked back at him when he called my name, looking at me with concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asked “And don’t say nothing; I can tell there is something bothering you.”

“If you know me so well, then you should know.” I cringed as soon as I said it. I hadn’t meant to come off as defensive, but it came out before I could think of anything else to say. _“True; Sam knows me, far too well for my own liking at times. he’s always been able to see right through me. And I just issued him a challenge. Fantastic.”_ Sam narrowed his eyes at me.

“You don’t know what to think about last night,” he said, “and you’re probably regretting it, and trying not to.”

“Should I?” I asked him, looking away.

“I don’t want you to,” Sam answered “I don’t.”

I placed my empty coffee mug on the table, still staring out the window, keeping my eyes adverted.

“You also don’t know what last night meant,” Sam continued.

“And what did it mean, Sam?” I forced myself to look back at him, bracing myself for whatever I would hear next, trying to stop myself from feeling hopeful.

His mouth curving into a smile, he held an outstretched hand to me, palm up, “I know what it meant to me.”

Biting my lip, I regarded his hand in offering, tempted yet leery of taking it, “What did it mean to you? Just another one night stand? A fun time? Friends with benefits?”

“A beginning,” he answered simply, raising his eyebrows he gestured to his hand, wiggling his fingers in emphases.

I sighed in defeat, taking his hand. “A beginning to what?”

“I'm hoping a relationship.”

“You don’t do relationships.”

“I try not to,” he admitted, “Past ones haven’t exactly worked out well. Hunters and relationships don’t really work well.”

“But you’d risk it all for me?” I asked sarcastically.

“I will if you will,” he answered back playfully, before turning serious. “My relationships in the past have been me running: from this lifestyle, from my own past, from myself. They have been filled with nothing but lies and dishonesty. Being with someone not in this lifestyle doesn’t work. Our lives are dangerous and almost always short lived. It’s a sad, lonely, miserable existence; but it doesn’t have to be. We can be happy, even if it’s short lived.”

“Live life to the fullest, huh?”

“Don’t you think we deserve to?” Sam asked with his earnest puppy dog eyes.

“And you think living life to the fullest is having a relationship with me?” I scoffed.

“It’s a part of it, taking a chance,” he answered in all seriousness “I know what I want, I know that I like you, I want to do what we did last again, many times. I want to laugh with you, and stay up all night researching. I want every argument, every good moment, every bad moment and every moment between for as long as I'm given.” Sam’s eyes blazed with confidence in every word he spoke. “I want to fall in love with you, I’m willing to take that chance” He left the rest unspoken. His eyes had captured my own, calmly waiting for my response. His words stirred emotions I had tried to repress for so long.

“You’re telling me everything I’ve ever dreamed of someone telling me; of what most people dream of hearing, probably. What’s the catch? There is always a catch.”

“That it will probably end in blood, pain, and heartache?” Sam shrugged “It’s not going to be easy; when it ends, it will end badly.”

“You’re a hunter, and I’m whatever the hell I am,” I pointed out “It’s guarantied our lives will end badly, there are no happy endings for us.”

“So shouldn’t we take whatever happiness we can get?” Sam asked “Give me the chance to make both of us happy; if that’s what you want, of course.”

“Sam, you have to know how I feel about you.”

“I can guess?” he ventured, “And hope.”

“Sam Winchester, I have been halfway in love with you for years, and you very well know that.” I told him.

“Only halfway?” he asked, mouth twitching.

“Well, maybe more then half,” I relented, rolling my eyes. A grin spread across his lips, his whole face lighting up as he offered me his other hand. Returning his grin with a bashful one of my own, I took his hand. I let him lead me out of my chair to straddle his lap. My arms wrapped around his neck as his hands fell to my waist.

“So that means?” he asked, looking up at me with raised eyebrows.

“Alright, fine,” I agreed with a laugh “I guess I'll give you the chance to prove yourself.” I knew I could, so I gave in to the desire to kiss him. With a soft touch to his scruffy jaw, I bent down to gently touch my lips to his.

“You want me to prove my self?” Sam asked with a smirk after I broke the tender kiss.

“Damn right, I do,” I teased him, returning his smirk with one of my own “Impress me!”

Sam, with a wicked glint in his eye, stood up abruptly making me squeak and hold on tight.

“Sam!” with one hand holding me up, the other slid under the shirt I was wearing, groping my naked flesh “What are doing?” I asked him in a gasp.

With long strides, Sam headed back towards the bedroom. “Impressing you.”

 

 


End file.
